Conflict is an inevitable aspect of life. We all have had conflict with someone in the past that we would like to let go. Often conflict can lead to ongoing feelings of ill will that may affect other areas of your life. Releasing the past conflict is the best way to allow yourself to move forward with your life.
Look at the Conflict with an Open Heart and Mind
Looking at an old conflict with a new perspective is the best way to release it hold on you. To do this you need to experience the situation in a different light. One of the best techniques I know of to release an old conflict is what I like to call the fly on the wall technique.
This technique works best if you can think of a specific situation where a conflict occurred. For instance, I have in the past had a rocky relationship with my mother. There have been times when I have been so frustrated with the situation that I refused to even speak with the woman.
Obviously this caused me quite a bit of emotional grief. I believe most people would like to enjoy the support and comfort of their family. In order to relieve this conflict I used the Fly On The Wall Technique. The first step was to think of a specific argument my mother and I had. This was easy since we had had so many.
The next step was to run through the situation in my mind. I just remembered how I felt, what I heard and saw. The next step is where the technique gets interesting. The next step is to imagine the same argument from my mothers point of view.
Specifically, I imagined looking at myself through my mother’s eyes. This had the immediate effect of showing me how irrationally angry I was with the situation. I could see the anger in my face and I could imagine what my mother was feeling as she saw that anger.
The last step is to run through the argument one more time as if I was a fly on the wall or a looking through the view finder of a security camera. What I saw from this perspective was two people who loved each other dearly and who just didn’t understand how to communicate with each other.
That simple exercise, used over and over has helped me regain a relationship with my mother. Our relationship is not perfect, but we do speak to each other regularly.
Go ahead and use this technique yourself to release any old or present conflicts you are experiencing in your life.