Conflict is an inevitable aspect of life. We all have had a dispute with someone in the past that we would like to let go of. Often conflict can lead to ongoing feelings of ill will that may affect other areas of your life. Releasing the past conflict is the best way to allow yourself to move forward with your life.
Look at the Conflict with an Open Heart and Mind
Looking at an old conflict with a new perspective is the best way to release its hold on you. To do this, you need to experience the situation in a different light. One of the best techniques I know of to release an old conflict is what I like to call the fly on the wall technique.
This technique works best if you can think of a specific situation where a conflict occurred. For instance, I have, in the past, had a rocky relationship with my mother. I have even been so frustrated with the situation that I refused to even speak with her.
This rift caused me quite a bit of emotional grief. I believe most people would like to enjoy the support and comfort of their families. To relieve this conflict, I used the Fly On The Wall Technique. The first step of this technique to think of a specific argument my mother and I had. This step was easy since we had had so many fights.
The next step was to run through the situation in my mind. I just remembered how I felt, what I heard, and had seen. The next step is where the technique gets interesting. The third step is to imagine the same argument from my mother’s point of view.
Precisely, I imagined looking at myself through my mother’s eyes. This had the immediate effect of showing me how irrationally angry I was with the situation. I could see the anger in my face, and I could imagine what my mother was feeling as she saw that anger.
The last step is to run through the argument one more time as if I was a fly on the wall or a looking through the viewfinder of a security camera. What I saw from this perspective were two people who loved each other dearly and who just didn’t understand how to communicate with each other.
That simple exercise, used over and over, has helped me regain a relationship with my mother. Our relationship is not perfect, but we do speak to each other regularly.
Go ahead and use this technique yourself to release any old or present conflicts you are experiencing in your life.
