Confidence is something we all struggle with from time to time. You have probably heard about all sorts of techniques and tips on confidence building. The fact is confidence is a feeling. You can experience any feeling at any time with a simple NLP visualization technique.
Everybody has confidence in some aspect of their life. Whether you are confident you can play a sport or sure you can go to the grocery store, confidence comes down to a feeling of security and surety—a lack of feeling of anxiety. The problem most people have in developing confidence is the fact being confident is not always exciting.
That’s right. Confidence is knowing you can do something, and you are safe both physically and emotionally. Many people believe the feeling of confidence should be some strong, screaming, exciting feeling with blood pumping and adrenaline flowing. That feeling is excitement, and yes, you can be confident within a sense of excitement, such as a rousing game of tennis that you know you have a good chance of winning. Most feelings of confidence lack enthusiasm.
With the basic concept out of the way and knowing what to expect, let’s get back to the technique. In this example, we are going to use a technique called anchoring. Anchoring is the process of linking a stimulus to a response. In other words, you will press your knuckle and feel confident.
First, think of a specific time when you felt confident (not excited, nervous, or unsure). It can be as simple as a time you went to the grocery to get a six-pack of soda or anything else you are used to and comfortable doing.
Now vividly imagine being in your body again during that memory. Notice what you feel, what you see, and what you hear. Mostly notice any feelings in your body as these are the most important. Notice your posture when you are comfortable doing something.
Now, as you vividly imagine the specific event, just press your fingertip of one hand onto a knuckle of your other hand. Hold it for 10 to 15 seconds as you allow the feeling of confidence to peak. And then release.
Now repeat that process with as many different confident experiences as you can think of, at least 3. Be sure to use the same knuckle.
Next time you feel nervous in a situation. Go ahead and press that knuckle and hold it for 10-15 seconds and just notice how your nervousness disappears and you feel that state of comfortable confidence. Be sure to regularly recharge the anchor because every time you use it will weaken slightly.
