One of the biggest complaints men have when dating is difficulty in having confidence when speaking with women. Confidence, of course, is the most attractive trait a man can have. A man who has a strong sense of self-confidence has little or no trouble with dating.
There seem to be endless techniques on how to have confidence when speaking to women. The most common advice is to act confident until you feel confident. This advice is sound. If you work at something long enough, you will eventually feel some confidence in the action. If you’re talking about dating, however, it can take quite a bit of time to feel confident in speaking with women—time you probably would rather spend doing something else.
There is a faster way of developing confidence, and that is using NLP or neuro-linguistic programming. NLP is known as the study of excellence. By modeling the exact behaviors and beliefs that a confident person has, NLP allows you to feel confidence almost immediately.
What is confidence? Confidence is a feeling of security that leads to being outwardly focused. By outwardly focused, I mean letting go of the inner dialogue which plagues most people without confidence. If you are spending your time thinking about everything you are going to say, everything the woman is going to say, trying to come up with the perfect answer, this is not confidence.
How do you achieve a confident feeling?
The best way to achieve confidence is to remove all of the limiting beliefs about yourself that are keeping you from self-acceptance. This process takes time, and training or professional help, so let me give you a quick way of getting that outward-focused confidence.
This NLP technique allows you to dissociate the significant feelings of anxiety you may feel when speaking to a woman. The method is quite simple and involves visualization or imagining.
First, you want to imagine watching yourself speaking to a woman from outside your body. You can do this while talking to a woman or when preparing to talk to a woman.
By imagining yourself standing behind or next to yourself, you dissociate from the feelings and tensions you may be experiencing in your body. This disassociation allows you to experience the sense of confidence, of not worrying about what’s going on in your body, of your errant thoughts, or other distractions.
Once you become used to this feeling, you can stop doing the visualization and just allow yourself to experience the outward focus naturally.